Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
Burning Down the House
  1. The story begins with the display of a shiny item on a billboard, and the purchase of that item by two inquisitive slabs.
  2. The two slabs are interrupted in the examination of their purchase by a concerned cleric who informs them of its morally harmful nature. The cleric then goes on to explain the opposing natures of good and evil, and urges them to renounce material possessions in favour of prayer and Bible study.
  3. The cleric’s suggestion is met with derision, and the interlocutors head their separate ways: the cleric to the chapel, where he prays that the two slabs be granted divine revelation, and the slabs to the pub, where their purchase is the subject of widespread admiration.
  4. Envy as well as admiration is aroused by the shiny object, and after using a fellow-customer’s request for use of the item, the two slabs are subjected to physical violence.
  5. The customer obtains the purchase and the respect of the congregation through a display of physical prowess. The slabs leave the pub injured and humiliated.
  6. The slabs’ distress call is answered by the cleric, who recognises them and interprets their return as evidence of an answered prayer. The meeting provides the opportunity to administer both material and spiritual sustenance.
  7. The slabs receive a vision of the divine while their prosecutor shares the spoils of victory. Staggering home, the adversary is drawn to the sound of voices.
  8. The slabs receive spiritual tutelage from the cleric. Hearing this, their adversary is inspired to recreate the story of the burning bush.
  9. While the cleric is enraged at the intrusion and attempts to drive out the invader, the slabs are drawn in by the subterfuge and draw swords to defend their god.
  10. The slabs attack the blasphemer without mercy, but notice too late that the building is on fire. Their antagonist escapes through the window.
  11. And they all lived happily ever after.

Burning Down the House

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